Developing Ideas on Community in the Internet Age.

As life and technology evolve, so do we, and the cultures and rules that shape our actions shift to keep pace. The concept of family has always been significant, especially in times and places where the harsh realities of the natural world made it essential. In those days, when technology didn’t connect us to the broader world, family was a crucial support system.

But as technology expands our horizons and connects us to ideas beyond our cultural bubbles, we inevitably encounter new perspectives and value systems. These new ideas can sometimes clash with the beliefs we’ve grown up with. As a result, the meaning of family begins to change. We no longer rely solely on our local community; instead, we seek out people and activities that resonate deeply with us, often forming connections beyond traditional family ties.

The LGBTQ+ community, for example, often speaks of chosen family—those who embrace them when their biological families do not. As our understanding of emotional well-being grows, the rigid structures that once held families together might start to loosen. But hey, does this mean I’m turning into a conservative? Not exactly. It’s possible to value both multiculturalism and the integration of diverse beliefs, while also recognizing that the traditional family structure isn’t the only way to find connection and support.

In the past, the family unit was crucial for providing structure and support in a disconnected world with limited resources. But in today’s society, our needs can be met in countless ways, and the relationships we form aren’t as critical to our survival as we age. Yet, our bodies still crave community and connection. If we can’t find that in our families, we’ll seek it out elsewhere—even if it’s through virtual connections with like-minded people.

The shift from geographically centered communities to online ones can be viewed in many ways, but I’d like to focus on the impact of seeking out homogenous online communities that provide a sense of connection—minus the physical presence of a traditional community. It’s also worth noting that social interactions can be challenging, and the ability to relate to others comfortably is a skill developed through practice. Many of us experienced this after COVID, when re-entering public spaces felt like a daunting task. I even heard friends say they got “rusty” at being social. Social interactions push us out of our comfort zones, but when we’re regularly engaged, we grow accustomed to the risks and rewards they bring. Over time, we develop the social resilience needed to navigate ambiguity. It’s a classic case of “use it or lose it”—our nervous systems adapt to the safety and predictability of avoiding social interactions if we don’t keep at it.

Now, imagine a world where your only connection to others is through your local community, with no internet to bridge the gap. To find connection and a sense of belonging, you’d have to immerse yourself in your local group, learning to manage differences and perhaps discovering that you can handle them, despite the stress they might cause. In doing so, you’d build social resilience and gain the embodied experience of relating to people who are different from you.

Now, let’s consider a teenager with access to the internet who lives in a community where they feel out of place. Feeling out of place seems almost a rite of passage during adolescence. The difficulty of engaging with local community members who don’t quite “get” you can be completely sidestepped by finding homogenous online communities that cater to your comfort zone. These communities might be geographically distant, creating a sort of “virus” that introduces ideas not aligned with the local cultural or historical context. This isn’t necessarily good or bad—it just means that new ideas can destabilize the shared values and rituals of a community.

All this leaves me wondering: can human beings sustain disembodied “communities” made up of homogenous ideological ideas that pull our mental and emotional energy away from the real-world gardens we’re planted in and into an online space that feels, well, a bit like an alternate reality?

Jonathan